I will say the part that always gets me about hourly's is the fact that their I.D. always has an address that is located right down the street. I don't understand how you think you are really fooling anyone. I love it when they say, "I only need to sleep, for a few hours. ". The taxi drivers here also provide girls, drugs and pretty much anything that at 4am in the morning seems like a good idea but probably is not. The girls come in all shapes, sizes, colors and ages. That's when the binoculars really come in handy. I feel like that guy from the discovery channel as every time it is the same thing. The man comes in and pays while she waits in the passenger seat, most of the time with a hooded sweatshirt pulled over her head, he opens the door then she jets in. The worst is when you see one girl and like 5 dudes go in and out of the room throughout the hour. I know it is probably more economical that way and these are hard times but come on! One of my favorites was Thanksgiving morning when a lady hopped out of a cab in her Sunday best and started banging on the door of one of our rooms. A couple emerged half dressed and jumped their car. The little lady from the cab began pounding on the window of the peoples car and screaming obscenities in Spanish at the man. I could see him trying to tell the girl in the driver's seat to drive away to which she was not abiding. Did I mention that this ladies Sunday best included some knee high black leather boots? With those pointy mother fuckers and just one attempt at a side round off kick she managed to send the side mirror from the car soaring into the air. I watched in amazement at what was happening before my eyes hoping that this ruckus would end before my family showed up for Thanksgiving. To my surprise the guy jumped out of the car and after getting a few swats and punches from his old lady he began running down the street as fast as his little legs could carry him. He is probably one of the fuckers who lives down the street and had been gone for an "hour" one too many times.
Now, I am pretty sure renting by the hour is illegal so when they ask for "una hora" I just give them a 5.00 discount. To me, my self-respect is worth more than 5.00 so if I was getting a whore I would just pay the extra 5.00 for the night and leave when I was done. But I think because I have self respect is probably a reason I would never get a prostitute. lol They always like to save that 5.00 though. I wonder how much does she get if they are paying 50.00 for a room and on top of that whatever she is making. I mean who pays 100.00 to have sex for an hour? When you think of it like that you might as well get married. It will probably save you money in the long run. One time a guy actually asked me how much for ten minutes? I tried not to laugh when I saw he was serious and said "50.00" They always ask for a room with a tv that is able to connect a dvd player and sometimes if I sell "condons" which I assume is condoms. It really disgusts me the fact that these people have no shame. Also, if you are going to all the trouble to get the girl, and get the motel room then how is it you can't stop off at the store and buy some freakin condoms? On second thought, shouldn't that be in a prostitutes tool belt or something? Anyway- Some of them sleeping with girls as young as 15 and as old as 72. I love, love, love, the tranny hookers though. They are so over the top. Just last week I had come home from a concert pretty drunk (because I always feel I have to live it up the nights when I am out of here), and at around 3am I heard the bell ring. I don't know if I mentioned this before but we pretty much work here 24 hours and if the bell rings (meaning someone is at the window and wants a room) then we have to get up from our bed and help them. So at 3am I wake up still half drunk and from a dead sleep to find a tiny Mexican boy with rouge red cheeks, pink lipstick and a blonde lady gaga wig on asking me for a cuarto. I smiled in my drunkness and wished I had rooms left. I wonder if the men know that they are getting a tranny and like that extra bit o something down there or if they are just super drunk and coked out from a wild night at the Cantina. I know it's been a crazy night for them when I go into the room and see four empty bottles of Boones Strawberry wine, used condoms and matted hair extension pieces. I always question why they also always feel the need to bring the key back to me. Why not just leave it in the room? Do I really need to know that you just did your business in 20 minutes and are now "done" as they say? So weird. I guess I will never understand the logic of the field worker migrants that constantly provide this place with income from their hourly patronage.
Tuesday
Monday
Carolyns Crystal Palace
I sip on a jammy Rose as I write this entry. Not only because I love wine, but because I just got finished cleaning out the room of a Craiglist hooker and the feeling of having scabies cannot leave my mind without the help of a little bit of Jesus juice.
While sipping my coffee mid morning, a Michael Chiklis look alike roared in the parking lot with his female companion. Sporting a Journey shirt and a brand new silver camero sportster I thought to myself, "This kind of shit only happens in the movies right? "He flashed his badge and showed me a picture of Caroline, asking me if she was here and what room she was in. Caroline had been here about a month and it was no secret that this 55 year old filly was getting her rent money from turning tricks out of her room. Who buys into those bags of tricks? is the question I keep asking myself, but when you see a sweet old mexican lady who has a senior citizens i.d. card that says born in 1938 selling her cavern of cobwebs, I guess you know that to each his own when it comes to paying for some sex. Caroline is the person I mentioned in a previous post with piercing blue eyes and razor sharp teeth. She also always rocks a clip in false ponytail in her bouffant. I had initially though she was a tranny from her 6 foot plus stature and manly like demeanor but from the looks of the trash can filled with bloody maxi pads, I am now sure that she is not. I felt so bad for her as she walked up to her room with her stilettos in one hand and personal pan sized pizza from Straw Hat in the other. I knew she would not be taking a bite of whatever topping covered delight she chose. Chiklis and his wife (who I later found out were bounty hunters) jumped out of their car and immediately hand cuffed her. I of course was sitting on the counter in the office watching with my binoculars. They actually come in handy a lot around here. I waited until morning to see if she would be back so that I maybe I did not have to clean out that shit hole. Upon entering her room I was greeted with the smell of cigarettes and Jack Daniels. Lingerie covered the lamps like ghetto sex shades or something. After putting on two pairs of latex gloves I got to work. There was an array of random stuff including, thigh high patent leather boots, boxes and boxes of what seemed to be stolen jewelry, dildos, animal print everything and a plastic bag full of fake ponytails. I think I filled about 6 plastic bags with stuff not including her ghetto rigged computer monitor hooked up to a broken laptop. The high point of my treasure hunt was in both night stands she had used crack pipes and baggies with what I thought at first glance must be rock candy. lol Let me tell you, meth really does look like rock candy. But boy does it not taste like it! lol I am kidding, I have never tasted nor smoked nor shot or snorted the stuff and would like to keep it that way. Anyways- 5 days later she comes back when my boss was here and he rented her a room! He said as long as they pay he does not care what they do. I am sure his tune would change if he was the one having to handle a meth whores belongings all day long for $3.00 an hour. What a jerk. Don't Indians believe in Karma or something? If reincarnation is real, my boss is def coming back as tape worm.
While sipping my coffee mid morning, a Michael Chiklis look alike roared in the parking lot with his female companion. Sporting a Journey shirt and a brand new silver camero sportster I thought to myself, "This kind of shit only happens in the movies right? "He flashed his badge and showed me a picture of Caroline, asking me if she was here and what room she was in. Caroline had been here about a month and it was no secret that this 55 year old filly was getting her rent money from turning tricks out of her room. Who buys into those bags of tricks? is the question I keep asking myself, but when you see a sweet old mexican lady who has a senior citizens i.d. card that says born in 1938 selling her cavern of cobwebs, I guess you know that to each his own when it comes to paying for some sex. Caroline is the person I mentioned in a previous post with piercing blue eyes and razor sharp teeth. She also always rocks a clip in false ponytail in her bouffant. I had initially though she was a tranny from her 6 foot plus stature and manly like demeanor but from the looks of the trash can filled with bloody maxi pads, I am now sure that she is not. I felt so bad for her as she walked up to her room with her stilettos in one hand and personal pan sized pizza from Straw Hat in the other. I knew she would not be taking a bite of whatever topping covered delight she chose. Chiklis and his wife (who I later found out were bounty hunters) jumped out of their car and immediately hand cuffed her. I of course was sitting on the counter in the office watching with my binoculars. They actually come in handy a lot around here. I waited until morning to see if she would be back so that I maybe I did not have to clean out that shit hole. Upon entering her room I was greeted with the smell of cigarettes and Jack Daniels. Lingerie covered the lamps like ghetto sex shades or something. After putting on two pairs of latex gloves I got to work. There was an array of random stuff including, thigh high patent leather boots, boxes and boxes of what seemed to be stolen jewelry, dildos, animal print everything and a plastic bag full of fake ponytails. I think I filled about 6 plastic bags with stuff not including her ghetto rigged computer monitor hooked up to a broken laptop. The high point of my treasure hunt was in both night stands she had used crack pipes and baggies with what I thought at first glance must be rock candy. lol Let me tell you, meth really does look like rock candy. But boy does it not taste like it! lol I am kidding, I have never tasted nor smoked nor shot or snorted the stuff and would like to keep it that way. Anyways- 5 days later she comes back when my boss was here and he rented her a room! He said as long as they pay he does not care what they do. I am sure his tune would change if he was the one having to handle a meth whores belongings all day long for $3.00 an hour. What a jerk. Don't Indians believe in Karma or something? If reincarnation is real, my boss is def coming back as tape worm.
Meth makes people do the darndest things!
This is what I woke up to this morning outside the front door. :)
Thursday
This shit is for real
Young hispanic female that rented a room a couple hours ago enters the office tonight and this is how it goes:
"excuse me maam, but the people next to me are being loud..."
" um... I am sorry, what room are you in?"
"117"
"Yeah...there is no one on either side of you"
"They must be below me or in the attic? or maybe in the walls, cuz you know thats where people stay sometimes when they don't have anywhere to go"
" ummm...."
"Yeah, it is the same people, I have heard them for 6 months now, even in my headphones, I am going to tell them to stop, I don't even care anymore."
"ummm..."
" The man is molesting the little girl, and she keeps telling him to stop, he keeps doing it. The lady and the man, they have a vibrator and I can hear it through the walls, and the lights went out"
"oh yeah, the power went out, we are waiting for it to come back on."
"When I go to my room and man jumps on the bed next to me, in the room next to me, he jumps on his bed when he hears me coming."
"There is no one in the room next to you, on either side"
"No, he is in there, can't you see him? Can't you hear them in there? They are in the walls..."
I sadly convince her to go back to her room and that we won't put anyone next to her. I try to explain but it really is no use with these kind of people. I feel for her I really do, because to be that gone in your own mind and to be so young and seemingly full of life really sucks.
"excuse me maam, but the people next to me are being loud..."
" um... I am sorry, what room are you in?"
"117"
"Yeah...there is no one on either side of you"
"They must be below me or in the attic? or maybe in the walls, cuz you know thats where people stay sometimes when they don't have anywhere to go"
" ummm...."
"Yeah, it is the same people, I have heard them for 6 months now, even in my headphones, I am going to tell them to stop, I don't even care anymore."
"ummm..."
" The man is molesting the little girl, and she keeps telling him to stop, he keeps doing it. The lady and the man, they have a vibrator and I can hear it through the walls, and the lights went out"
"oh yeah, the power went out, we are waiting for it to come back on."
"When I go to my room and man jumps on the bed next to me, in the room next to me, he jumps on his bed when he hears me coming."
"There is no one in the room next to you, on either side"
"No, he is in there, can't you see him? Can't you hear them in there? They are in the walls..."
I sadly convince her to go back to her room and that we won't put anyone next to her. I try to explain but it really is no use with these kind of people. I feel for her I really do, because to be that gone in your own mind and to be so young and seemingly full of life really sucks.
Wednesday
Drugs are Bad, umkay...
Oh what a morning, already been woken up by an early hourly and the police arresting a local meth dealer staying one of the rooms. The most interesting tranny I have ever seen is staying down on the end. She has eyes that are a piercing light blue, stands 6 foot at least and wears a clip on fake ponytail in the middle of her brown bouffant. Her teeth seem to be razor sharp and covered in dark red lipstick but her demeanor is very kind and gentle. The colorful life I lead! I feel like I should be getting more than 3.00 an hour plus free rent for this...yes I am pretty sure I should be. Maybe at least health benefits so that if I contract AIDS or HEP C from being forced to jump on top of the needle ridden dumpster, I can go to the hospital :) The most interesting thing I recently saw in the trash was a whole set up for tattoos. Yep, just when you think you have seen it all, someone was actually doing tattoos out of their 50.00 a night hotel room. I wonder what kind it was, maybe a name in script or possibly a nice "Smile Now, Cry Later?" lol
Anyways, back to my morning. Upon opening up the phone bill we saw that a customer had called 411 72 times in two days!!?? How is that even possible? For one, we have phone books in every room, secondly, this crackie in particular came in and took around 6 phone books from inside the office. They were extra and I said she could have them. This woman, let's call her Stevie, carries around a plastic bag full of crap. I am guessing half of it is filled with phone books. She likes to wear her hair in the highest ponytail possible with a 1950's style handkerchief wrapped around the top and falling to the sides. She, like most crackies, has from what I have seen zero teeth. She usually dons a death metal t shirt with a woman giving birth to the devil on the back and some Capri stretch pants. She rarely wears shoes and last time she was in the office she just had to show me her feet. "Look sweetie, they cut them all up in the gang rape. " It wasn't the fact that she said she was gang raped that bothered me so much, it was more in the nonchalant manner that stated it in. Her eyes spoke of many a sleepless nights which she always confirms with "Sorry, my brains not working yet, I haven't slept in a couple days!" She always comes in with a little satchel asking if I want to smoke reefer with her to which of course I reply "No, thank you" In my mind I am thinking, maybe you should stick to that and lay off the crack, but I think at 65 if you are still on the pipe there is probably no hope for you. -Sad Face. - One positive thing about the crackies though is they always leave a spotless room. Man do they like to clean. I like to give them the dirtiest room on the end and leave a spray bottle of bleach and water in there and see what it looks like the next day. The walls, toilet and vanity are sparkling! We eventually got the 300.00 charge for the 411 calls reversed but her and her posse are still not allowed to get a room here due to too much police activity and noise complaints. Stevie still calls me here and sometimes leaves messages to let me know that she is in the "Mental Health Ward" if anyone asks and that she loves me.
Anyways, back to my morning. Upon opening up the phone bill we saw that a customer had called 411 72 times in two days!!?? How is that even possible? For one, we have phone books in every room, secondly, this crackie in particular came in and took around 6 phone books from inside the office. They were extra and I said she could have them. This woman, let's call her Stevie, carries around a plastic bag full of crap. I am guessing half of it is filled with phone books. She likes to wear her hair in the highest ponytail possible with a 1950's style handkerchief wrapped around the top and falling to the sides. She, like most crackies, has from what I have seen zero teeth. She usually dons a death metal t shirt with a woman giving birth to the devil on the back and some Capri stretch pants. She rarely wears shoes and last time she was in the office she just had to show me her feet. "Look sweetie, they cut them all up in the gang rape. " It wasn't the fact that she said she was gang raped that bothered me so much, it was more in the nonchalant manner that stated it in. Her eyes spoke of many a sleepless nights which she always confirms with "Sorry, my brains not working yet, I haven't slept in a couple days!" She always comes in with a little satchel asking if I want to smoke reefer with her to which of course I reply "No, thank you" In my mind I am thinking, maybe you should stick to that and lay off the crack, but I think at 65 if you are still on the pipe there is probably no hope for you. -Sad Face. - One positive thing about the crackies though is they always leave a spotless room. Man do they like to clean. I like to give them the dirtiest room on the end and leave a spray bottle of bleach and water in there and see what it looks like the next day. The walls, toilet and vanity are sparkling! We eventually got the 300.00 charge for the 411 calls reversed but her and her posse are still not allowed to get a room here due to too much police activity and noise complaints. Stevie still calls me here and sometimes leaves messages to let me know that she is in the "Mental Health Ward" if anyone asks and that she loves me.
Monday
Thursday
Lions, Tigers and Trannies, Oh My!
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