Okay, so yes I love my wine. I mean I REALLY love it. It's safe to say I almost drink at least a glass every night, but some people take drinking to a "whole notha level". In this case when I say "some people", I mean specifically Gary.
Gary is a gun toting, motorcycle riding, cigarette smoking, mustache having racist mother fucker. I have met a few like him, but not one this much of an asshole. Every time I see him come in he feels the need to comment on how bad my hair or outfit looks that day and then asks where my old "man" is. I want to tell him "Gary, I work in the hood with crackies and homeless people, I don't want to look hot," but explaining something to him would take effort and he's worth none of that. All this coming from a man with wiry orange hair that almost symmetrically covered the sides of his bald head and a mustache that took up half his face. He always rode up bumping the same "Sugerland" song, "Stay", which always gave me a laugh. Why he stays here I don't know but he always seems to come back every couple weeks. His first stay here the maids told me they tried to clean his room but knocked on the door and heard the shower going so they would come back after they cleaned all the other rooms. About 2 hours later they came in the office to tell me he must still be in the shower because they could hear the water running and he was non- responsive to the knocks. Soon thereafter my man (let's call him G) pulled up and after telling him the situation, went to Gary's door. Only this time after there was no answer G used the master key and swung the door open. He could see the corner of Gary's head peeking up from inside the bathtub and the water almost running out of it. "Gary!" he screamed. Gary immediately perked up looking at G and realizing he has passed out in the bath. "What are you doing?, are you going to stay another night?" , "Oh yeah buddy, uh...um..let me get my money" What happened next made me so happy that it wasn't me who had to bang on his door. Gary got up out of the bath completely naked with what I assume was a shriveled up mess since he was in the tub for over two hours. He motioned for Gabe to come get the money. He grabs his jeans and squats down naked on the toilet and digs for a hundred dollar bill. He handed G the cash and stayed a couple more nights. Needless to say, this was not the only time Gary ended up falling asleep in the bathtub but it was the last time G had o be subjected to the sight of that old man's penis.
Gary's most recent stay here was pretty much his last. To make a long story short he binged out on his regular Jack Daniels, ate a shitload of Chinese food, (which by the way I always have to order for him because he doesn't know the address here) , and then proceeded to order a prostitute from the cabby. ( I have noticed over my time here that the cabbies are the real pimps and dealers in this town.) Why someone tells you they are paying for sex is beyond me but to each his own. He then asked G to hold his 800 in cash which I am guessing is because he knew his drunk ass would lose or the whore would steal it, to which G replied "No". To no one's surprise, the next morning he crawls out of his room and tells us that he got a whore last night and that she stole 800.00 from him. He said he was going to call the cabby back and track her down. At this point I just start feeling sorry for this guy that he is that much of a loser and even more sorry for myself that I have to live amongst him. Luckily we had the day off and when I returned the boss informed me that the police had come for Gary, cuffed him and took him away. I am guessing we will not be seeing too much of him for a while. I sure hope not.
*Note to Johns: You should not call the cops on people that steal from you when you yourself are committing a crime. :)
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